Do you or your spouse (if you are married) pay the family bills? Do each of you know how to access all financial accounts? Do you have access to all passwords? If the answer is no to any of these questions, let me give you a word of advice! Knowledge is power, non-stressful and accomodating!
My stepfather Chuck used online banking and my Mom had no clue how to proceed. I’ve managed to lock Chuck out of his bank account using an incorrect password but Mom was listed as a co-account owner. We were able to get their banking accomplished setting up new accounts and passwords for her. Whew—we didn’t need that stress but have jumped that hurdle successfully—we think! So, my advice to you readers is—learn how to do everything—and soon! Each of you needs to have both financial and medical power of attorney in place—you never know when disaster will strike.
This coming Thursday will mark one month since Chuck had his cardiac arrest. This past Wednesday we moved him to the large medical center in Little Rock where I went to nursing school. Chuck is still a very ill man and we have a long way to go without a doubt.
I’ve been here in Arkansas over three weeks and I sincerely need to go home—I have no pressing chores or appointments but I need my home, my husband and Emmi. I fly back to Montana on Tuesday. I’ve done what I can to make Mom’s frequent journeys to the hospital easier, my sister and niece who both work full time will do what they can to help Mom as time passes. We can only hope at this point.
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You and your family are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine how hard all this is on you. I wish a full and fast recovery for your stepfather. He seems to be such a very good man. Your advice about finances is very good. We both know our passwords etc. Good luck to all.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you guys are going through this but I totally understand your need to go home and recharge. I do all the bill paying but a couple times a year I make Jim go through it with me.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you guys are going through this but I totally understand your need to go home and recharge. I do all the bill paying but a couple times a year I make Jim go through it with me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hard time to be going through... you are in my thoughts and prayers. As for the finances... I pay the bills and keep everything (and I do mean everything) accounted for on Quicken. Bill takes care of the stocks and investments. While we each do our own thing, both of us are capable of taking care of all that on our own. But it's not just the finances... someone else (partner, child, lawyer?) should also know and have access to what each person wants for final arrangements, have durable power of attorney and the such. And what happens if we are both struck down at the same time? Someone else needs access to safe deposit boxes, bank accounts etc. Since both Bill and I have children from previous marriages, we have designated an outside source as executor. We don't expect any family squabbles, but one never knows. It's so easy to think to let this stuff go until it's too late. Good of you to remind us that we need to be in the know.
ReplyDeleteYour idea to designate an outside of the family is so kind to your children. Even in a family that gets along well, it is quite a burden to make one child executor when if there are investments, various accounts, and property to liquidate or hold. Even if the value of the assets is not particularly great, the workload is difficult - so many papers and decisions! It is a huge responsibility. I see a member of our extended family going through this right now, and I really feel sorry for him. Very capable guy, but adding the burden of dealing with an estate on top of his full time job as a doctor and his grieving and the needs of his other siblings - it is very, very hard on him. Good advice!
DeleteGood point, we sometimes forget to share, it's easier to do it ourselves. Great that you were there
ReplyDeleteThe power of attorney stuff is so important as we recently learned with Bill's mom. We still need to complete them for each other - good reminder! Hoping that Chuck's move is a good sign.
ReplyDeleteI learned this point when my dad suddenly died. My mother never had anything to do with the finances. Luckily, we were able to straighten it all out. But I must say, I'm not in much better shape. I'll be looking into our information immediately!
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sure it will be hard to leave your mom and Chuck, I am sure they understand your family needs you at home, too:) Safe travels. Still praying for Chuck and your mom:)
My heart is with you. You will never be sorry for the generous and
ReplyDeleteloving time you have given to your mom. Your a great daughter!
Trusting things will get better soon.